Plush and Blood : The Forum :: A short story by a rude rabbit.

Ruderabbit · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject:

What follows is a short story. By moi.

Plonk!” “Plonk!” “Plonk!”
Rude brought the hammer down a third time on the top of the wooden sign, humming jovially.
”What are you doing?” asked Wrince, who had emerged from whatever hole he happened to be in to see what all the noise was about.
”I’m hammering a sign into our lawn!” replied Rude, merrily.
”Yes, I can see that,” said Wrince, with the patience of anyone who must spend prolonged periods of time around Rude, “What I wanted to know was, WHY you are hammering a sign into our lawn.”
”Well, read the sign!” said Rude, giving the sign one last tap.
Wrince walked around the bulging bunny and looked at the sign nonchalantly. He scratched his head, and tried to decipher the script that adorned the piece of wood. ”Matts … warnded? Esquire … withdrawn? Erm … Rude … a number of problems with this sign. Firstly, you haven’t informed the mats of what they’re being warned about … unless it’s the esquire within part. Are you saying there’s someone inside them? Secondly … mats are inanimate objects … they can’t read.”
”Not Mats Warned, silly! Mates wanted, Inquire within!” He stood, proudly admiring his handiwork.
”And, you really expect this to yield results?” asked Wrince, dryly.
”I don’t see why not … you get adds like this in the newspaper all the time!”
Wrince rubbed his temples, getting slightly impatient with this latest crazy scheme.
”Your average woman in the street isn’t going to respond to this kind on sign … they have more class.”
“Well, ye of little faith, we’ll just see about that!” And, with a defiant expression, he marched across the garden and into the house.

During breakfast, there was a knock at the door.
”Ah-HA!” Exclaimed Rude, a piece of toast halfway to his mouth, “That’s probably one of many responses to my add! I’ll go and let her in so we can discuss wedding invitations …”
”Wait a second,” said Wrince, as Rude was about to get up, “I’ll answer it. I don’t want you talking to the postman and pretending it was your new fiancé.”
And so, he went to get the door.
”Well, you were right,” he said on his return, “It was about the sign.”
”Oh, really?” said Rude, “I thought as much … I was thinking about a spring wedding …”
”Oh, no … it wasn’t a girl.” Corrected Wrince, “It was our neighbor, Matt, asking why he was being warned about internal esquires.”
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